After 30 plus years together, I was staring at a huge black hole the day after Robbie passed away and then the phone rang, and Jolene Senek, Grief Coordinator for Home Hospice asked “How are you?” and I cried. She asked “Can I help? Can I come over?” and I don’t remember what I said, but then she was there on the couch by me and we just talked. At first we talked every week, then every two weeks and then monthly and those talks helped every time to make the black hole smaller and more light appear. I can’t believe how she worked with me over the past year.

In the first few months, I found myself turning lights on around the house and installing new ones outside because I was fearful of staying alone.  Jolene helped me to see that it wasn’t fear making me turn on lights; I was really dealing with my grief trying to push away the darkness and that black hole.

Some days I wanted to curl up with the covers over my head, but I couldn’t. I needed to work to keep my house, to pay my bills, to live. I had no idea what I could possibly do; as an in-home day care operator for 20 years, I didn’t think I had any skills to work out of the home, but Jolene helped me see my skills were transferable into the workplace. She encouraged me, supported me and helped me persevere through the job search process, and when I found a good position in an office, she helped me see my accomplishment.

I was concerned about our grandchildren. Other people had said I should find ways for the children to feel better. Jolene suggested I put up pictures around the house about “Papa” and make books to read at story time with the four-year old twin boys. What an excellent idea! It has been a wonderful experience as we talk about Robbie and I am amazed at the things that they remember from when they were two and three years old. We were also able to have one of the grandchildren attend Camp Dragonfly. All of these things have made such a difference as we each work through our grief and loss.

When I called Home Hospice, it was for help for Robbie, not for me. I had no idea what services were available, that there was someone to help with grief. Hospice is not just for dying loved ones, it’s also to offer care and help as you go through that hard time after your loss. When you talk with someone who shows compassion and understanding, who offers healing suggestions and support, you can’t measure what Home Hospice gave me before or after. It was priceless.

Linda Bartley has gathered quite a collection of vibrant hats and scarves, as well as beautiful wigs.  Collections often give us a glimpse of what is important to the collector, but when you see Linda’s collection, it also tells a story.

You would have seen her at thrift stores and estate sales buying these bright and colorful items.  It all began after she was told she had cancer and started losing her hair from the chemo treatments.

“At one estate sale, a lady, who was also a cancer survivor, gave me a wig, and it meant a lot to me,” said Linda.  “I had fun collecting the hats and wigs,”

Linda’s favorite hat is a little burgundy one with flowers on the brim.

“I like hats and I like flowers,” said Linda.

Entering Linda’s room, one can see that her love for vivid colors spills over into her decorations as well.  Two walls are painted a relaxing lilac and the others are painted a soft blue.  The walls are filled with gorgeous paintings and she has many charming trinkets.

“She has decorated her room with bright colors and inspirational things,” said one of Linda’s daughters, Tammy Preston who came all the way from Montana to take care of her “Momma.”  She also shared many fun moments with her mom shopping and searching for those hats and scarves.

“I have a total of 21 children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren,” said Linda.  “My family has been very supportive.  When I was in the hospital, they were there every day, and I’m talking 30 people!  I am very blessed by the family I have.”

Home Hospice has made it possible for Linda to stay at home with her family as her illness progresses.

“It’s a strange deal when you know your time is coming to an end; I believe Jesus picked me up and carried me through,” said Linda.  “He has given me this time to spend with my family and to say goodbye.  It’s been real hard for me.  I can’t do a lot, but I can love my family.”

The most impressive thing about Linda is her desire to continue spreading kindness to others even through she is walking through a difficult road.  She has so many stories of how others have shown compassion to her and she wants to pass on that kindness.

Several thrift stores gave her decorative flowers for free when they learned that she was going through health concerns and wanted to decorate her room with an inspirational atmosphere.  A man at the Salvation Army gave her a walker that was in amazing shape for free.

“There are good Samaritans everywhere!” said Tammy.

Linda has now donated her collection of hats, scarves, and wigs to be help others who are going through cancer like she has.

Some of the hats have been kept at Home Hospice for patients in need of a hat or a wig.  Most of Linda’s collection has been given to the Room For Hope, a part of the Texoma Health Foundation.  Maria Hayes started the Room for Hope when she was in high school.  Her goal was to create a place where women battling cancer could find things of comfort along with other items such as hats and wigs.

“Texoma Health Foundation works with over 200 women a year,” said Hayes.  “I just wanted to do something that was going to help a lot of people in my area and I especially wanted to do something for the women.”

Linda shares that same desire to help.

“I wanted to share the hats because cancer is a difficult thing to go through and a pretty wig or wonderful hat helps,” said Linda.  “Something bright always helps.”

“Momma is continuing the kindness by donating these hats,” said her daughter Tammy.  Turning to her mother and holding her hand she said, “That’s how you’ve always been Momma, you know how to pass it along and make a friend with any stranger.”

To find out more about Home Hospice or to read more inspiring stories visitwww.homehospice.org.  To learn more about The Room For Hope visithttp://texomahealth.org/.

Home Hospice is a non-profit organization, founded in 1982, dedicated to providing education, programs, services and quality care to palliate physical, emotional and spiritual symptoms at end-of-life for patients, families, and caregivers regardless of ability to pay, as well as all in our communities who grieve.

Every Tuesday and Friday afternoon at 2:00, a charming group of women gather together at The Park Manor Senior Apartments to sew teddy-bears for the Bear Hugs Program through Home Hospice of Grayson, Cooke, & Fannin County, which takes clothing once worn by a deceased family member to create a teddy bear from the fabric.  These bears allow the family members to hold memories of their loved one close to their hearts.  This particular group of ladies has made more than 100 bears already this year, and they have been named the “Park Manor Cut-Ups.”

“We were sitting together playing games one day, and we decided we ought to go to work and do something for other people,” said Marie Davis, who has been nick-named head honcho of the group.  “I saw an article in the newspaper about the Home Hospice Bear Hugs Program and decided it was a program we could help with.”

The Park Manor Cut-Ups is made up of women from all different walks of life including a long-time school teacher, a paralegal, and even an eighteen wheeler truck driver.  Although they are all retired now, they are working hard to help others.

“We’ve still got abilities that can help someone else, and we wanted to use those abilities to help Home Hospice,” said Deloros Bennett, seamstress for the group.

“One thing that got me interested in helping this group was that we all used to have productive and busy lives and we worked hard; this was a way we could still do something productive on a very worthwhile project,” said Linda Douglass.  “I feel like I’ve done something for somebody, and we’ve all been touched by Home Hospice in one way or another.”

Not only do these ladies get a lot of work done, but they also manage to provide the money for all the supplies and materials they need to make the bears.  The Park Manor Cut-Ups create other stuffed animals or crafts for resale to provide money for their supplies.  The work they do is so admired by the other residents of Park Manor, that several of the residents have donated their own supplies to the project.

As they gathered the completed bears to bring to the Home Hospice office where family members pick up their keepsake, you could hear the ladies talking to the bears.  One of them reassured the bears, “You’re about to go home.”

“We try to give each of the bears a personality, but it’s not just about making the bears; it’s about the fellowship,” said Linda.  “In the last year, everyone has been hit by death and we share each others’ burdens.  This is family out here.”

The work done by the Park Manor Cut-Ups and by other Bear Hugs volunteers brings joy to family members who have lost a loved one.

A letter sent to Home Hospice says:

“Dear Home Hospice Volunteer,

            I want to thank you again for the precious bears you made out of my dear husband’s clothes.  Those I show the bears to, agree that is such a lovely tribute you give to those of us who have lost a loved one.  I am so appreciative.” 

To learn more about Home Hospice, the Home Hospice Bear Hugs Program or other volunteer programs visit the Volunteer Programs Page.